1کرکٹ باکسبولر کی ہولڈنگ ... innuendo نے اب بھی مضبوط جا

Almost every crick­et fan will have heard the fam­ous quote, attrib­uted to Bri­an John­ston, “The Bowl­er­’s Hold­ing, the Bats­man’s Wil­ley”. Wheth­er or not this really was said live on air no longer mat­ters a great deal, it is bril­liantly rep­res­ent­at­ive of the many double entendres that have fea­tured in crick­et com­ment­ary before and since. That latest in this fine tra­di­tion was offered up yes­ter­day by Charles Dag­nall in his com­ment­ary on the Cham­pi­ons Trophy match between Pakistan and South Africa, کب, in describ­ing the 7ft1 Mohammed Irfan of Pakistan, he announced “He’s just got a monu­ment­ally big handle… so to speak”. After a good chuckle I set about com­pil­ing a list of some of my favour­ites, میں ذیل میں پیش کریں جس.

I updated this list in August 2017 as a res­ult of enjoy­ing some more clas­sics (won­der­fully described in the show as ‘urbane school­boy humour’) thanks to the won­der­ful “Test Match Spe­cial: Our TMS” radio pro­gramme broad­cast on BBC Radio 5 Live, to cel­eb­rate 60 years of TMS.

“I grew a beard on my hon­ey­moon.  I did.  I came back with a great big beaver.”
— Unknown, via “Our TMS”

“This comes from… (gig­gling)… It’s not the prime min­is­ter Wil­li­am Pitt, but this is from Wil­li­am H. Tit”
— Jonath­an Agnew & Bri­an John­son, via “Our TMS”

“The heav­ier the balls the less they swing”
— Graeme Swann, via “Our TMS”

“He’s just got a monu­ment­ally big handle… so to speak”
- Charles Dag­nall, پاکستان V جنوبی افریقہ, ICC Cham­pi­ons Trophy, 10-جون 2013

“Broad’s in, وہ پیالے, this time Vet­tori lets it go out­side the off stump, اچھی لمبائی, invit­ing him to fish… but Vet­tori stays on the bank… and keeps his rod down, so to speak”
- Chris­toph­er Mar­tin-Jen­kins, Eng­land v New Zea­l­and, 1st ٹیسٹ, 15-مئی 2008

“Just did­n’t quite get his leg over”
- Jonath­an Agnew, Eng­land v West Indies, 5ویں ٹیسٹ, 9‑Aug-1991

“Michael Vaughan’s beside me, it’s not easy put­ting a rub­ber on is it?"
- Jonath­an Agnew, Eng­land v Sri Lanka, 2ND ٹیسٹ, 7‑June-2011

“Well I can tell you the bowl­er­’s Hold­ing, the bats­man’s Wil­ley”
— Bri­an John­ston, Eng­land v West Indies, 5ویں ٹیسٹ, اوول, اگست 1976 ء *

“There’s Neil Har­vey stand­ing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, wait­ing for a tickle.”
— Bri­an John­ston, Eng­land v Aus­tralia, 3RD ٹیسٹ, ہیڈنگلے, جولائی 1961

“He’s usu­ally a good puller — but he could­n’t get it up that time.”
— Rich­ie Benaud

“Wel­come to Leicester where the cap­tain Ray Illing­worth has just relieved him­self at the Pavil­ion End”
— Bri­an John­ston

“Greig walks back to his mark, لیکن صرف تبدیلیاں بجانے کے لئے, this time he pol­ishes his left ball.”
— Bri­an John­ston, Eng­land v India, 1st ٹیسٹ, Old Traf­ford, 1974

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a cloud crap like this one”
— Henry Blofeld, Eng­land v India, 1st ٹیسٹ, لارڈز, 1990

“…and it catches him high up on the, ہے, thigh … he’s bravely going to carry on … but he does­n’t look too good. One ball left.”
— Bri­an John­ston

“Gee it must be hard to bowl with a stiffy like that.”
Mark Richard­son

In response to a rev­el­a­tion by Sir Viv Richards that he had cut short his hon­ey­moon to play a match: “Did you get any?"
— Jonath­an Agnew, Eng­land v West Indies, ٹرینٹ برج, مئی 2012

“There are a lot of hook­ers around the world…”
— Rich­ie Benaud

“Those throb­bing balls are below 115”
— Rameez Raja

“Hafeez is push­ing smoothly. His part­ner Jam­shed is sat­is­fied today”
— Rameez Raja

“Bowden is nev­er Erect, I have always wondered what is the reas­on behind that bend”
— Mark Nich­olas

“A very good pack­age, Vir­at Kohli”
— Rameez Raja

“These two showed how to do it safely, this part­ner­ship is an example of how to do it safely”
— Rameez Raja

“Hafeez is push­ing smoothly. His part­ner Jam­shed is sat­is­fied today”
— Rameez Raja

“and now, to ring the changes as he walks back, Greig pol­ishes his left ball”
— Bri­an John­ston

“It’s amaz­ing how he can whip it out just before tea”
— Tre­vor Bailey

There are audio clips of more clas­sic gaffes by Bri­an John­ston at Johnners.com and there are also many oth­er amus­ing quotes at WanderersCricketClub.com اور BleacherReport.com

If you know of any oth­er audio clips please let us know in the com­ments below.

* The story of the “bowl­er­’s Hold­ing” clip is a com­plic­ated one. There are vari­ous accounts that sug­gest it really happened, or really did­n’t. The main ref­er­ence claim­ing Johnners did use the line is a BBC art­icle which quotes Henry Blofeld as say­ing he was present at the time. How­ever, میں ہنری Blofeld پہلے ہاتھ کہانی کی وضاحت سنا ہے, dur­ing which he said that the Johnners did­n’t use the line. Appar­ently Johnners received a let­ter which claimed he had used this innu­endo, and he told the story of the let­ter but nev­er con­firmed that he had actu­ally used the line in ques­tion. There is good reas­on to believe the let­ter was a joke as it was sent by a Miss Tess Tickle (also repor­ted else­where as Miss Main­piece)

اس مفید پایا? ہمیں بتائیں کرتے ہیں براہ مہربانی ذیل میں ایک تبصرہ چھوڑنے کے. آپ کے سبسکرائب کرنا چاہتے ہیں تو سب سے اوپر دائیں مینو پر لنک سبسکرائب استعمال کریں. آپ بھی ذیل سماجی روابط کا استعمال کرتے ہوئے کی طرف سے اپنے دوستوں کے ساتھ اس کا اشتراک کر سکتے ہیں. چیرس.

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